Allowance & Chores

A very important part of a TJEd home is to teach your children not only the love of learning, but also the love of working. They need to be able to enjoy working and to find a sense of worth by completing a task that has been assigned to them.

Every home does their "chore system" differently but I thought I would share mine in case you are looking for a different point of view.

Allowance:

In our house, the kids don't "earn" allowance...they don't get paid "per chore completed". We feel strongly that the kids should be helping around the house because they are a member of the family, not because they want to earn some money. We want to teach them that the reason we do things for others (our family, in this situation) is because we love them, not to get something in return.

I began searching the scriptures to find some guidance. I prayed for quite a while about the subject because I did feel so strongly about "helping out because you are a member of this family". I decided to analyze how our Father in Heaven blesses us and did some research on the subject. I found that the Lord has blessings already waiting for us, blessings he wants to give us, blessings because he loves us. I then realized that the Lord usually withholds blessings, instead of giving blessings. I found that to be very interesting....He has blessings he's going to give us but then has to withhold some due to our choices. This was just what I needed to more fully understand and it became the basis of our "chore & allowance" system.

I dedicated one family night to this subject and found that the kids easily understood why I had decided to take this different approach. I explained to the kids that they would each get a certain amount of money per week (varying by age) and they were expected to help out where needed, do their duties, be kind to one another, not have a bad attitude and obey. I explained that we, as their parents, really wanted them to receive all the money (aka: blessings) we had waiting for them. But it was up to them if they received it all because some could be withheld if they were having problems in any of the areas I listed above.  I explained that they were not getting a "reward" for a certain act but it was a "blessing" we wanted to give them for overall good behavior.

When we do have to withhold money, we talk with the child about why and try and help them see how they can alter their choices to ensure they are able to receive all we have planned to give them.

Chores:

So in our family the "daily chore" system really doesn't work. They do have a "duty" that they are expected to complete whenever it's needed.  Hannah's duty is dishes, so it's an all of the time type of thing. Gabe's duty is feeding and watering the cats whenever it's needed.

Instead of doing "daily chores" we decided to do "Monday Morning Cleaners". Every Monday morning the kids know they have certain duties to complete. Both kids need to "clean" their room (not just straighten), they have to "clean" their playroom (not just straighten), Hannah vacuums & dusts the entire house, and Gabe cleans the upstairs bathroom.  Their duties are to be completed before lunch. After lunch we usually make a special treat, like brownies or cookies as a fun reward for a clean, pleasant home.

I feel my kids are much more focused when they are expected to "really" clean only once a week. For some reason, it doesn't feel so daunting to them like it would if I spread the duties throughout the week.  During the rest of the week, we just randomly tidy things up as needed.


I truly believe that having a responsibility in the home is very important to children. They begin to realize how needed they are in the family and gain that much-needed self confidence.

We are definitely still working toward the "love of work" with both of them, but I think they are making progress and so is their mother...yes, I'm still learning how to "love" work...it's interesting how much I'm growing in that area as I travel down my "Love of Learning" path  :)

<3